"Edna doesn't know what she's talking about. Capes are totally cool!"

There's a certain nostalgic value to Superman. The original Christopher Reeve version was the first superhero movie I ever saw and in my mind it's forever linked with childhood innocence and simpler times.

Now there's a new Supe on the scene and it feels like he rode in on a warm breeze from some long ago summer. Rather than reinventing the character for "modern" audiences, this Superman plays like a throwback to those days when we -- make that I -- really believed in a hero who was incredibly strong and impossibly good.

Bryan Singer’s Superman Returns is a sequel to Superman II, which is the one where the big guy revealed his secret to Lois Lane, lost his powers long enough for them to hook up, then erased her memories of the whole episode with his Super Amnesia Kiss. (The movie ignores the fact that there was a Superman III and IV, which I hear is a good thing but I’ve never seen them so I really can’t say.) Superman – and, coincidentally, Clark Kent – have been gone for five years. They both return on the same day, Supe just in time to save Lois from certain death, Clark in time to be largely ignored as usual. While he was gone, Lois got herself both a Pulitzer and a five-year-old son, who actually looks more like six or seven to me, but what do I know.

"Watch yourself, missy. We could have that chick from "Smallville" here in a heartbeat."

In another coincidence, it’s right around this time that Lex Luthor gets out of prison and quickly finds work as a megalomaniac. He gets his hands on some stuff that he really shouldn’t have and uses it to do stuff he really shouldn’t do. Millions – or is it billions? – will die unless Superman can somehow manage to save the day.

Singer, who knows from superheroes after directing the first two X-Men movies, clearly relishes the opportunity to get his directorial hands on the superest of all heroes. He approaches the material with reverence to spare, not only sincerely embracing Supe’s unfailing decency and heroism but also framing him as a Christ-like figure. Seriously, check him out, hovering above the earth listening to people’s prayers. That kind of symbolism gets a bit heavy-handed and the movie comes close to toppling under its weight, but I have to admit it gave me kind of a warm feeling inside.

While it’s a lot less action-oriented than you might expect from a superhero movie, the film does have one really thrilling rescue involving a plane and the space shuttle, and a few lesser-but-still-fun action scenes. The story is fine and holds together about as well as these things ever do, which means it falls apart at the end when Superman suddenly does something I didn’t think he could do.

Wait. Glasses . . . AND the suit? Hey, Superman and Clark Kent are THE SAME GUY!!

How’s the new Superman? Brandon Routh, in his first big role, is . . . well, he’s no Christopher Reeve. Now I’ll grant you that as an acting part Superman is no Hamlet, but go back and watch Reeve sometime. He was really just effortlessly brilliant in the role. To be fair, Routh is quite good, especially in his scenes with Lois where he just exudes love, and the moments when, with a glint in his eye, he revels in his powers. If he suffers it’s only in comparison.

Kevin Spacey is a true madman as Lex Luthor, an evil genius who’s cruel just because he likes it. He leans towards the campy side, but I liked that. Also fun, but with not enough to do, is Parker Posey as his dim-bulb sidekick.

But what the hell have they done to our spunky, sarcastic Lois Lane? She’s played here by the virtually spunk-free Kate Bosworth, who comes across as a homecoming queen with a chip on her shoulder. Not to mention the fact that she barely looks old enough to be a cub reporter, much less a Pulitzer Prize winner with a school age kid. I’m sure I’m not the first to say it, but this movie’s own Parker Posey would have made a great Lois Lane. She’s got spunk in spades!

Superman Returns could have been better. It’s a little long – particularly the ending that seems to take forever – and a little ponderous and a little miscast. In terms of stars, three seems like too many, two and a half a little stingy. But you know, considering all Superman has done for the world, I’ll give him the benefit of the doubt. After all, there are plenty of good guys in the world, but not many really, really good guys.

Gorilla Pants rating: 3 out of 4 bananas