Simone tells the story of washed-up filmmaker Viktor Taransky (Al Pacino). The studio pulls the plug on his latest movie after the pampered leading lady decides she’s not being pampered enough and walks out. Fate sends in Hank Aleno, an eccentric inventor who gives Viktor the answer to his prayers: the ability to do away with actors altogether. With the computer program that Hank has spent years developing, Viktor creates a completely believable artificial actress named Simone that he digitally composites into his film. Simone becomes an overnight sensation, universally beloved and idolized, her celebrity only magnified by the fact that she can never appear in public.

This could all make for a sharp, funny send-up of Hollywood studios, arrogant filmmakers and tabloid reporters, and sometimes that’s what Simone offers. More often, though, it’s talky and predictable, always taking the easiest shots at its targets, never going for the harder look. By midway through the movie I was tired of watching scene after scene of the media sensation that was Simone, but there wasn’t much else on the film’s mind. I wanted to see more of Viktor than his sitcom-like attempts to keep the illusion alive and his frustration that Simone gets all the attention. For example, I could imagine a funny scene where he has to direct real actors after working with the infinitely obedient Simone. There are some funny moments when Viktor tries to get rid of his creation, but the movie couldn’t sustain this section’s drive.

Maybe it would have helped if Viktor had somebody to talk to. Niccol’s script spends a lot of time telling us over and over what Viktor has done and what we should think about it, in long, repetitive monologues by Viktor himself and Viktor talking through Simone. Couple this with a tedious, unnecessary subplot regarding his relationship with his ex-wife and you have a movie that bogs down in plot contrivance. All this isn’t helped by the fact that Pacino seems like he still hasn’t caught up on his sleep since making Insomnia. It’s entirely possible that there’s a reason why Mr. Pacino is known more for drama than for comedy.

But Pacino’s tired performance is only symptomatic of the larger problem with Simone. Niccol, who has managed to be both thought-provoking and entertaining as the writer of The Truman Show and the writer/director of Gattaca, here seems to be trying to do more of a straight-ahead comedy with a little bit of satire thrown into the mix, and he doesn’t have the knack for it. There are some genuine laughs in the movie, but overall Niccol’s direction lacks the verve and energy required by the material, and that leaves Simone feeling as bland and fabricated as its computer-generated heroine.

Gorilla Pants rating: 1 out of 4 bananas