Dear male movie characters: Women named Lola are always gold-diggers. I tell you this for your own good. Sincerely, Melissa.

Every now and then a “kid’s” movie comes along with true, cross-generational appeal, something that’s as much fun for parents as it is for the kids who drag them to the theater. I’m thinking Shrek. I’m thinking Toy Story. I’m thinking Finding Nemo.

I’m not thinking Shark Tale.

Shark Tale is about Oscar, a little fish with big dreams. He longs to be “somebody,” by which he means rich and famous, but apparently none of his get-rich-quick schemes ever pan out because he’s stuck scrubbing tongues at the Whale Wash. When a shark dies in Oscar’s general vicinity, the word on the underwater street is that he killed it. Suddenly he’s the big shot he’s always wanted to be. Everyone loves him except, of course, the sharks, who are the deep-sea version of mobsters. You can tell because they’re voiced by Robert DeNiro and pretty much the entire cast of "The Sopranos." Now Oscar has to learn what everybody who’s ever watched the E! True Hollywood Story already knows: fame has a dark side. In Oscar’s case, it includes pressure to kill more sharks; the disapproval of his best friend, Angie; and the possibility that he’ll be whacked by the finned version of Don Corleone.

Okay, the puffer-fish with Martin Scorcese eyebrows is pretty funny.

Well. I suppose in the right hands that could have been a fun movie. But Shark Tale comes off more like the work of a bunch of lazy people who are trying too hard: a lot of energy has gone into making everything WACKY! and FLASH! and BADA-BING! but it’s all very forced and obvious. It feels like for every scene they stopped with the first joke they thought of instead of putting in the tough work of thinking up one that was actually funny. They skated through the character work as well; I don’t necessarily expect searing emotional realism from an animated movie, but none of the characters have a scrap more depth than is needed to serve the plot.

The younger kids in the audience seemed to enjoy the movie, so if you’re looking to entertain a six-year-old for a couple hours it may do the trick. But don’t expect much for yourself. The assembly line of writers and directors who took a crack at Shark Tale figure if they throw in enough mob movie references it’ll keep the parents from squirming in their seats, but it just doesn’t work. We’ve seen it all before and dressing it up in fins doesn’t make it seem any fresher.

Gorilla Pants rating: 1 out of 4 bananas