Yeah, I can do that. (I'm referring, of course, to the guy crawling up the stairs.)

Joss Whedon, everybody’s (or at least my) favorite genius*-auteur of television, comes to play in the multiplex with Serenity, a big-screen sequel to his short-lived but long-lamented western-in-space series "Firefly." (I think I broke some kind of hyphen-record with that last sentence and you know what? I just don’t care!) I hear you non-believers out there: “Sequel to a TV series? Western in space? How much is THAT gonna suck?” Well the answer, kiddies, is not at all.

Here’s how it is: The transport ship Serenity is run by a ragtag crew of good-hearted scofflaws led by Malcolm Reynolds, jaded veteran of a losing fight for freedom. It’s also home to a teenaged psychic named River Tam, who’s a bit unhinged from being subjected to cruel experimentation by the oppressive Alliance government. And since her tormentors were stupid enough to put people with secrets in a room with a psychic, she’s got a head-full of stuff they’d prefer not get out. Now she and her brother are being hunted by a government operative called, well, The Operative and Mal and his crew are caught in the middle.

The Interstellar Beverly Hillbillies.

There’s way more to it, but even that bit of exposition is graceless and trite compared to the lithe way Whedon handles it in the movie. And that's a minor miracle considering that the series "Firefly" was remarkably layered for having only half a season’s worth of episodes. In just a few entertaining minutes, Whedon performs the challenging trick of getting newbies up to speed on his world without boring even the most obsessive fans of the series. (Not that I know anyone who would fall into that category.) He then proceeds to tell a story that is exciting, heartfelt, funny, nuanced and affecting.

Here and in his TV series (which also include "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" and "Angel") Whedon has a rare gift for mixing sad and funny, serious and silly, ironic and genuine. He can spin you around in the blink of an eye and the shifting tones are never jarring because he is 100% committed to each one.  His stories, as fantastical as they are on the surface, are always about people and emotions and ideas, and he tells them well. His script is smart, his direction sure-footed and flourish-y. Watch for the long – as in all-in-one-take -– steadicam shot near the beginning that follows Mal through Serenity as he interacts with nearly everyone aboard. Take that, Orson Welles.

"River, honey, we've talked about this. Buffy and Angel can't be together. It's a whole big soul thing."

From the cast I have to single out, well, pretty much everybody. Nathan Fillion is grade-A leading man material as Mal, whose tough, brooding exterior hides an abiding love and loyalty for his crew. Gina Torres as no-nonsense warrior woman Zoe and Alan Tudyk as her wise-cracking pilot husband Wash have great chemistry as possibly the only happily-married couple in science fiction today. Adam Baldwin provides comic relief as Jayne, the crew’s muscle; Jewel Staite is the refreshingly straight-forward mechanic Kaylee; Summer Glau shines as the angsty-but-fierce River. (Yes, I like the rest of the regulars too, but I’m running out of adjectives.) Chiwetel Ejiofor is magnetic as the serene, philosophical Operative.

So obviously I’m a fan of the series and pre-disposed to like the movie. How about you folks who’ve never seen the show? Will you have a good time? Will you be confused? Will the fact that they’re flying spaceships but shooting six-guns bother you? I would say: yes, not much and I dunno. But I’ll hazard that unless you really can’t stand science fiction you should find something to like in Serenity. And while I have to admit that I’d still prefer to see these folks once a week on television, their stories pack enough of a punch to fill the big screen.

* Yes, I said genius. And I’m not taking it back.

Gorilla Pants rating: 3.5 out of 4 bananas