Ready for anything, this guy.

Matthew McConaughey is one tricky dude. I mean, I like the guy but let’s face it; he probably wasn’t the first choice for the lead in a big-budget action movie. You know a few A-listers passed on the script before it made its way to him. He gets the last laugh, though. Turns out this is the silly adventure flick Hugh Jackman should have made instead of Van Helsing, and I suspect the one Ewan McGregor will wish he’d signed up for rather than The Island. Sorry boys! Guess it’s time to fire those agents.

Sahara is based on one of a long string of best-selling novels by Clive Cussler, featuring a hero who goes by the manly name of Dirk Pitt. (You’ll know him by his abs.) Dirk works for the National Underwater and Marine Agency salvaging all kinds of valuable stuff that folks have lost at the bottom of the sea. He's also a handy guy to have around if you're, say, a World  Health Organization doctor and the bad guys want to kill you before you figure out what's causing a string of mysterious deaths in Western Africa. Pitt is an all-purpose adventurer, you see, the kind of guy who keeps a big knife strapped to his leg just in case. He’s equally adept at finagling an escape from the back of a moving truck and dispatching a menacing thug from fifty paces with a spear gun.

Oh, and in case you’re wondering why an underwater salvage guy is in the Sahara, well, obviously because he’s looking for an American Civil War battle ship that’s buried in the desert. I’m surprised you even need to ask.

Sahara’s plot is improbable to the point of goofiness but staged with so much gee-whiz inventiveness and good-natured humor that you’re not likely to care too much. Director Breck Eisner makes it easy to go along for the ride. The action scenes – and  there are plenty of them – are a nice mix of the familiar (chasing, escaping, blowing stuff up) with things you’ve probably never seen before, which I won’t spoil for you here.

"Woo! I TOLD you we'd blow something up! "

McConaughey gives a one-note performance, but in his defense that’s all he needs. Low-key and unflappable, Pitt faces everything from a trek across the desert to a flirtation with Penelope Cruz (horrors!) with the same cocky grin, but that’s fine. Come on, were you looking for angst and soul-searching from the soggy, American version of James Bond?

Steve Zahn is at his Steve Zahn-iest as Pitt’s comic sidekick Al. It’s his typical wise-cracking persona, only with an overlay of competence and courage that he must have found a refreshing change. Thumbs up. William H. Macy is fine but wasted as the boys’ boss, a role that requires him to splutter “My boat!” a few times, but not much else. And for once I didn’t even mind Penelope Cruz (much) as the feisty doctor.

If you’re looking for mystery or suspense you won’t find it here. The bad guys are who you think they are and the good guys make sure they get what they have coming to ‘em. But what it lacks in nuance it makes up for in good, old-fashioned fun. Sahara is as glossy and inconsequential an action movie as you’re ever likely to come across, but if you’re looking for a good time it’s worth the price of admission.

Gorilla Pants rating: 3 out of 4 bananas