"Hey, I know you Coens run a pretty low budget operation but are you sure you don't have someone else who could sweep the floor?"

Film noir is one of my favorite movie genres, and Joel and Ethan Coen are among my favorite filmmakers. So when I heard they were making a black and white movie set in post World War II America, about a poor shlub who gets in way over his head because of a deceitful woman and an ill-conceived criminal plan I was thrilled. There’s no way I could NOT like it, right?

And I do like it, though I can’t say I love it.

Billy Bob Thornton plays Ed Crane. Ed is the "second chair" barber in the shop owned by his wife’s talkative brother. Ed himself is not talkative, despite the fact that he narrates the movie in a smoky, listless monotone. Ed just cuts the hair and smokes his cigarettes.

Ed’s wife Doris, played by Frances McDormand, is the kind of woman guys like Ed always seem to be married to in the movies. She’s a little flashy, a little ambitious, a lot controlling, and having an affair with her boss, Big Dave (James Gandolfini). But, you know, Ed may be quiet, but he’s not so dumb. He figures out that they’re seeing each other, though he doesn’t seem to care much until the opportunity for an investment in a dry cleaning business presents itself, and he decides to blackmail Big Dave for the money.

"Watch your step, Ed. If this was HBO I'd have had you whacked by now."

Once you start down that path, don’t be surprised when things go wrong.

So someone dies, someone’s wrongly accused, effects ripple. It doesn’t take long for Ed to figure out that he chose the wrong road out of a loveless marriage and a dead-end job, but what’s a guy to do? There’s no turning back. As Ed’s life spins out of control . . . well, okay, it doesn’t exactly SPIN out of control. Spinning, to me, implies speed. It’s more like his life kind of FLOATS out of his grasp. Slowly. Very slowly. Which is my one and only problem with the movie. It’s extremely leisurely pace. Which is appropriate. I guess. Because Ed’s a leisurely guy. But there’s another word for leisurely: boring. It can be hard to maintain interest in someone with so few interests.

"Listen, buddy, I'd be glad to cut your hair if I could only find some."

But that’s just quibbling, since so much of the film is good. The Coen brothers write some of the best dialogue in the movies, oblique and pointed at the same time. Characters reveal themselves in such subtle ways, always saying more than they intend to in even their most banal comments. And what characters they are, and played by such an exceptional cast. Thornton brings just the right tone of lethargy and despair to Ed, and McDormand’s every look and gesture tell us more about Doris. My personal favorite, though, is defense attorney Freddy Riedenschneider. Tony Shalhoub has as much fun playing this fast-talking, arrogant showboat as the Coens seemed to have writing him.

Sitting in the theater I grew impatient with the slow parts of The Man Who Wasn’t There. But in retrospect, what I remember are the wonderful characters, dialogue and performances. So all in all, I recommend the movie. You have my blessing. Go. But be prepared for . . . leisurely.

Gorilla Pants rating: 3 out of 4 bananas