"When you can snatch the pebble from my hand, you will be an actor. Maybe."

Okay, I’m feeling a little hyper right now. Seeing The Italian Job will do that to you.

Here’s the deal: A gang of thieves gather in Venice (Italy, not California) to steal a safe full of gold. You’ve got your typical complement of heist-movie characters: the mastermind (Mark Wahlberg), the old pro safecracker, called in for one last job before retirement (Donald Sutherland), the explosives guy (Mos Def), the getaway driver (Jason Statham) and the latest addition to the caper movie lineup, the computer hacker (Seth Green). Oh, and Edward Norton as Steve, the guy who thinks he should be in charge.

That last one is a problem, as we soon find out. Steve, who lacks both imagination and that “honor among thieves” thing you hear so much about, decides to dispose of his colleagues and keep all the gold for himself. He’s a bit of a bumbler, though, and while he thinks he’s finished the job, he’s only managed to kill off Sutherland. So the guys decide to steal back the loot, with the help of Sutherland’s safe-cracking daughter (Charlize Theron).

"I can erase my debt, earn thousands by working at home and order an herbal alternative to Viagra? Cool!"

The Italian Job is two hours of mindless but engaging fun, which makes it a nearly perfect diversion for a summer weekend. Capably directed by F. Gary Gray, it’s solidly structured and liberally soaked in adrenaline, with some stylish action sequences to boot. The climactic chase, which involves three Mini Coopers, the Los Angeles subway system and a helicopter, is simply not to be missed. (And yes, I know this sequence comes off as nothing but a long car commercial but dammit, it worked. I want one.)

The script, by husband-and-wife screenwriting team Donna and Wayne Powers, is nicely done. They have a light and funny style, which they wisely play up. The plot isn’t earth-shatteringly clever, but there’s plenty of it and it’s solid enough for this type of movie. What it lacks in depth it more than makes up for in twists, humor and quirky characterizations.

Speaking of, I have to single out Seth Green for some well-deserved praise. His portrayal of computer-nerd Lyle, who insists he invented Napster only to have it stolen by Shawn Fanning (who has a brief cameo), is gleeful and hilarious. He steals every scene he’s in, particularly when he’s doing an uncanny impersonation of Jason Statham’s character, Handsome Rob. Seth, baby, you’re never going to get the lead if you keep doing such a bang-up job as comic relief.

"This is the last time we get directions from Mapquest."

As for the rest of the cast, well, what can I say. I love Edward Norton (really, I do; check it out) but his heart doesn’t seem to be in this one. Sporting an unfortunate Bruno Kirby mustache, he does a fine job as the second-rate thief who turns on his crew due to his own sense of inadequacy (at least that’s what the sub-text was telling me) but I never got over the sense that he was slumming.

Then there’s Mark Wahlberg. I hate to always rag on the guy, but do we have a blander leading man? He’s upstaged by Theron, Statham, Mos Def and especially Green. Can you imagine what Donald Sutherland and even a half-awake Norton do to him? Hell, the cars have more charisma than he does. But, I suppose somebody has to get the scripts Brad Pitt and Matt Damon pass on.

There are a few scenes that fall flat, notably the first meeting with the ironically named Skinny Pete. I kept getting the feeling there was supposed to be something funny there, but it didn’t quite work. And there’s a closing voice-over that ties everything up in a nice little bow that really feels tacked on, but by that time, if you’re like me, you just won’t care. Why? Because you’ll have just spent two hours being thoroughly entertained in traditional Hollywood high style. Go. Have fun. After all, summer only comes once a year.

Gorilla Pants rating: 3 out of 4 bananas