'Keep smiling, distract him from the dog.'

Have you seen the one where the attractive young lead starts dating someone on a bet (or a dare, or to get their inheritance, or for scientific research purposes, or some other loosely thought out reason), then falls in love with that someone only to have him or her find out that the whole relationship was (sob!) based on a lie? Of course you have. Well, if you buy a ticket to How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days, you're about to see it again — times two! What fun!

In a modest variation on this timeworn theme, both of the lovers are operating under false pretenses. Andie Anderson is the "How To Girl" for a Cosmopolitan-like women's magazine, penning columns like "How to Feng Shui Your Living Room" and "How to Love Your Thighs." The movies title comes from this month's assignment: find a guy, start dating him, then systematically do all those annoying little things that women do to screw up relationships, thus ensuring that he'll dump her. Benjamin Barry is an advertising executive who must prove to his boss that he can make any woman fall in love with him in ten days in order to — and I'm not kidding about this — win the big account. Hilarity ensues.

"Did you just call me Reese Witherspoon?!?"

Actually, it kind of does. The middle section of the movie, where Andie's irresistible force meets Ben's immovable object is pretty funny. Kate Hudson proves to be a capable romantic lead, spunky and likeable even when she's pretending to be the most annoying woman on earth. Matthew McConaughey is almost as charming in his exasperation. These scenes and their chemistry in them are what kept the movie from being a total bust.

But as much fun as I had watching Andie redecorate Ben's apartment in frilly pink and continually thwart his efforts to see the basketball finals, it wasn't enough to save the movie. The tired script is nothing but cliché followed by formula followed by platitude. The plot contrivances reach an unbearable level in the inevitable moment when both deceptions are revealed in ways that don't make sense even within the loose confines of this story, then keep going through the predictable — well, I was about to ruin the ending for you but you can probably do it for yourself.

What's worse is the filmmakers are so determined to make their leads likeable that there's no room for them to grow. Andie starts off knowing that her job is trivial — we know this because she's trying to submit an article called "How to Bring Peace to Tajikistan" — and never changes her mind about that. They're two perfect people and perfection is boring. How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days shows some spark. If they could have only rounded it out with believable characters and a little more creativity in the plot, well, they would have really had something.

Gorilla Pants rating: 1.5 out of 4 bananas