Fronsac pouted after Jean-Francois pointed out that nobody was wearing giganto-cuffs anymore.

Movie night, and there’s a dilemma. You’re in the mood for a foreign film so you can read sub-titles and feel all cultured. Your friend wants action, adventure and some kick-ass fight scenes. If only there was a movie that you both could love.

Wait, there is!

Brotherhood of the Wolf tells the story of a mysterious beast that terrorizes the Gevaudan province of 18th century France. The creature, described by the few surviving witnesses as an enormous wolf, brutally kills women and children, mostly of the peasant variety, in the picturesque settings of the French countryside.

Enter Grégoire de Fronsac, biologist to the king, who arrives in the region to destroy the Beast. To fulfill his mission, Fronsac must grapple not only with the mysterious creature, but also with superstition, politics and provincial prejudices. He also finds himself falling in love with Marianne, a beautiful young woman from one of the area’s most influential families.

"Here's a little trick I learned from Xena, Warrior Princess."

Now apparently, in the 18th century, the job description for “biologist” included inflicting serious damage during frequent brawls with multiple opponents, because Fronsac and his Native American sidekick Mani (noted martial-artist Mark Dacascos) fight early and often. In one of the movie’s first scenes, Mani single-handedly whups up on a half dozen soldiers when he happens upon them beating an old man. One by one, he takes them down without even removing his tri-cornered hat. With his billowing, leather coat and steely gaze, he’s the quintessential, invincible warrior, noble and commanding. This scene, like most of the film’s action sequences, is heavily stylized. It slows down then speeds back up, freezes then starts moving again, accompanied by swooshy sound effects and a strong backbeat. Are these techniques gimmicky, music video eye candy, or stylistic flourishes, carefully chosen to illustrate theme and character? Oh, hell if I know, probably eye candy. Is it wrong of me to enjoy it anyway? Am I shallow? Maybe. Sometimes you just have to go with it. I loves me a well-choreographed fight scene, and Brotherhood of the Wolf keeps ‘em coming.

Jean-Francoise on his way to a midnight showing of The Rocky Horror Picture Show.

Did you know that there really was a Beast of Gevaudan in 1760’s France, an unexplained something that killed lots and lots of people? (See, you’re learning something already; action movies can be educational, too!) Co-screenwriters Stephane Cabel and Christophe Gans (who also directed) have invented a solution to the mystery, and the result is spooky and entertaining. Our heroes are brave and good, but with an edge that’s not always pleasant. The Beast is sufficiently beasty, the human villains are infinitely worse, and the whole thing looks gorgeous, with its sumptuous, French country houses, swirling fog and rugged, dramatic landscapes.

Be warned: there are scenes in Brotherhood of the Wolf that are not for the faint of heart. It’s all about the carnage, people. Some of the Beast attacks come with an extra helping of gruesome, and there’s a wolf-hunting sequence that I found hard to watch. (Sad but true: I often have a harder time with cruelty towards animals in the movies than I do with cruelty towards people. There’s something not right about that, I know.) And given the sheer quantity of fights, battles and massacres in the movie, the filmmakers have to be quite creative — and frequently quite graphic — in how characters meet their untimely demises.

But if you can handle that, Brotherhood of the Wolf will reward you with a satisfyingly melodramatic story and plenty of excitement. So, if you think the phrase “French film” automatically means either artsy and sophisticated or boring and pretentious, think again. Ultimately, Brotherhood of the Wolf is a fun, exhilarating adventure movie that happens to have subtitles. And didn’t you make a New Year’s resolution to read more?

Gorilla Pants rating: 3 out of 4 bananas