You start off thinking it's a love story, but really Henry just wants to feed Lucy to his walrus.

50 First Dates is a curious kind of Valentine's Day present. Half a sweet-natured and kind of sad romance, half a forced, slap-sticky gross-out flick, it's like getting a dozen roses and a whoopee cushion at the same time: you may like one or the other (guess which one I'd choose) but together they're just kind of odd.

Adam Sandler plays Henry, a veterinarian at a Hawaiian zoo whose love life consists of commitment-free sexual encounters with tourists. Until, that is, he meets Lucy, (Drew Barrymore) a local woman with whom he flirts over breakfast at a diner. Trouble is, a car accident has left Lucy with the inability to form new memories. Every night while she sleeps she forgets everything that happened that day. But even after learning of her condition, Henry is smitten and contrives to get to know her in bits and pieces.

This is the good half of the movie. There's something sweet and poignant about Henry and Lucy's growing relationship, his earnest devotion to her and his efforts to make her fall in love with him every day. The logical part of me had a few questions about how everything worked out, but I'd been emotionally hooked enough by the story that I told that side of my brain to take a break for a while.

Adam Sandler: Proud to be an American.

(Yes, that's right. I used the phrases "emotionally hooked" and "Adam Sandler" in the same review. I know, I wasn't expecting it either. Funny what can happen when he plays a character who's more or less a grown-up.)

Then there's the other half of the movie, the half that feels more like what we're used to from a Sandler flick. This half features mass quantities of walrus vomit, mean-spirited jokes about one character's sexuality and Rob Schneider. Now, I like Schneider as much as the next person, as long as the next person really doesn't like him at all, but even given my low expectations his bits brought the movie down with an audible thud. The crude, shtick-y humor isn't even FUNNY crude, shtick-y humor, and it conflicts jarringly with the gentle tone of the love story.

It's a shame. George Wing wrote half a good script, and director Peter Segal turned it into half a good movie. 50 First Dates may be one of those movies that plays better on DVD, where you can chapter-select out all the scenes that aren't the central love story. If you're lucky, you'll forget the rest of it even exists.

Gorilla Pants rating: 1.5 out of 4 bananas